And now, the end is near…

5 11 2012
 
 
 
 
Remember remember the fifth of November,
Gunpowder, treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder, treason
Should ever be forgot…
 

In 1605, a plot to assassinate King James the First was hatched by a motley crew of conspirators, who planned to replace the ruling monarch with a Catholic leader.

History shows that it was not successful. The authorities, getting wind that something was not quite right under the Houses of Parliament, descended on the seat of government on November 5th and arrested a man called Guido, or Guy, Fawkes. He was found in possession of a large number of barrels of gunpowder and, tellingly, a match.

He was sentenced to be hung, drawn and quartered – an unpleasant means of death at the best of times. Happily for Fawkes, he decided suicide was a less painful option and he hung himself while in prison for his botched attempt at seventeenth century terrorism. Read the rest of this entry »





Celebrating All Hallows Eve…

31 10 2012

In seven days time, this man could be President of the United States of America…

Happy Halloween.

 

 





Happy Columbus Day…well worth celebrating

8 10 2012

As a proud Englishman, there are many things that my country did to other sovereign nations that make me feel a bit ashamed.

This is a discussion for another day, but as America celebrates the  achievements of Chris Columbus by allowing school kids to play outside my office window, I thought I would join in the fun by posting a picture.

Enjoy your day….





Mitt-watch: Day 14,789,621.2…the stopgap blog

6 10 2012

Another week, less than a month to go until the country decides which bloke to send…I am too jaded to do anything more than steal something from Facebook and post it.

Normal service will be resumed soon(ish)…





Mitt Romney and Sam Malone, never seen in the same room…

23 09 2012

As a committed insomniac, any chance I get to dream is always welcome but when they recur…not so much.

My dream isn’t as grand as Martin Luther King or as incredible as the one Victoria Principal had in Dallas, but it won’t go away.

It’s star is the Voice of the People, Mittens Romney.

For some reason, Mitt (or Cuddlebucket as he seems to be known over the hours that this vision seems to take place) is staying at my house. For reasons that never become clear, he is lodging in my spare room and – very occasionally – making me a cup of tea. Being Mitt, he is surrounded by an entourage of security people and what look like the grey aliens that occasionally visit the planet.

He doesn’t really do anything, he tells me what to do, we talk about anything apart from politics (he is a big fan of Simon Cowell) and every day we go out for “a decent cup of coffee”…which Mitt believes can only be purchased at Dunkin Donuts. Then it all gets a bit strange.

Whenever we walk into DD, Mitt morphs into Sam Malone. Every single time. Read the rest of this entry »





Here comes Honey Boo Boo…John Logie Baird turns in his grave

10 09 2012

If you were to sit down in a pub with your mates at this moment in time, the chances are that your conversation over the next few hours would cover a lot of subjects.

Most would be related to sport, sex or politics. In some cases, a combination of all three.

You might talk about how religion should not be the reason why you vote for a future President, or discuss why the first song to be transmitted from another planet was by a Black Eyed Pea instead of a Thin White Duke. You could even find out if anyone managed to catch the remake of Total Recall in the 47 hours that it was available in movie theaters.

There could be millions of things to discuss, hundreds of paths to go down, thousands of tangents to follow and several pints to drink.

At some point, either social media or reality TV will make an appearance. Someone will tweet or update their Facebook status, somebody else will check in at the place you are all sitting and there are likely to be pictures taken to be uploaded later as evidence of what a fun night you are all having.

Spoiler Alert: You don’t know what fun is until you have hung out with “Crazy” Tony at the local dump looking for clothes for your teenage daughter in a dumpster. Fun is something that can only be achieved by rolling around in mud, feeding six-year-olds a mixture of Red Bull and Mountain Dew and breaking wind wherever (and whenever) possible.

Welcome to the world of Honey Boo Boo. Read the rest of this entry »





Drinking Beer and Talking Mitt…the perfect Labor Day

4 09 2012

 

 

So here we are once more…the “official” end of summer, marked by unashamedly ironic holiday that is known as Labor Day.

A day when the majority of Americans do very little except sit around, chat with friends and neighbors, eat lots of food and drink various strengths of alcohol. If they have a job, working is the last thing on their minds, throwing a football around or catching some guilt-free rays is the primary concern.

How do I know this? Because it is exactly how I spent my day.

It was an easy decision to make. Spend my day catching up with all the news that I had missed in the last few days or sit down with a bunch of people that I don’t know that well, eat some grilled meat (and a small amount of salad) and explain why Mittens Romney is not the man for the job.

Irrespective of how “likeable” the GOP have tried to make him in the last week. Read the rest of this entry »