Halloween…the least scary day of the year

31 10 2014

dead

Halloween is here. Again.

Having spent most of my formative years in England, I was lucky enough to miss out on the joy of dressing up in a costume and being forced to harass strangers for chocolate on a designated day.

This also meant that I wasn’t able to fully appreciate just how important it is to keep your door closed in the week leading up to the big night on October 31, and while the practice of parent-approved begging/extortion has now become popular in the UK, it has a long way to go before it reaches the insanity levels of the USA.

With that in mind, I don’t want to be a killjoy on a day when dressing up and terrifying people is widely accepted, so here are some scary thoughts. Read the rest of this entry »

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Celebrating All Hallows Eve…

31 10 2012

In seven days time, this man could be President of the United States of America…

Happy Halloween.

 

 





Mitt Romney and Sam Malone, never seen in the same room…

23 09 2012

As a committed insomniac, any chance I get to dream is always welcome but when they recur…not so much.

My dream isn’t as grand as Martin Luther King or as incredible as the one Victoria Principal had in Dallas, but it won’t go away.

It’s star is the Voice of the People, Mittens Romney.

For some reason, Mitt (or Cuddlebucket as he seems to be known over the hours that this vision seems to take place) is staying at my house. For reasons that never become clear, he is lodging in my spare room and – very occasionally – making me a cup of tea. Being Mitt, he is surrounded by an entourage of security people and what look like the grey aliens that occasionally visit the planet.

He doesn’t really do anything, he tells me what to do, we talk about anything apart from politics (he is a big fan of Simon Cowell) and every day we go out for “a decent cup of coffee”…which Mitt believes can only be purchased at Dunkin Donuts. Then it all gets a bit strange.

Whenever we walk into DD, Mitt morphs into Sam Malone. Every single time. Read the rest of this entry »





Here comes Honey Boo Boo…John Logie Baird turns in his grave

10 09 2012

If you were to sit down in a pub with your mates at this moment in time, the chances are that your conversation over the next few hours would cover a lot of subjects.

Most would be related to sport, sex or politics. In some cases, a combination of all three.

You might talk about how religion should not be the reason why you vote for a future President, or discuss why the first song to be transmitted from another planet was by a Black Eyed Pea instead of a Thin White Duke. You could even find out if anyone managed to catch the remake of Total Recall in the 47 hours that it was available in movie theaters.

There could be millions of things to discuss, hundreds of paths to go down, thousands of tangents to follow and several pints to drink.

At some point, either social media or reality TV will make an appearance. Someone will tweet or update their Facebook status, somebody else will check in at the place you are all sitting and there are likely to be pictures taken to be uploaded later as evidence of what a fun night you are all having.

Spoiler Alert: You don’t know what fun is until you have hung out with “Crazy” Tony at the local dump looking for clothes for your teenage daughter in a dumpster. Fun is something that can only be achieved by rolling around in mud, feeding six-year-olds a mixture of Red Bull and Mountain Dew and breaking wind wherever (and whenever) possible.

Welcome to the world of Honey Boo Boo. Read the rest of this entry »





Drinking Beer and Talking Mitt…the perfect Labor Day

4 09 2012

 

 

So here we are once more…the “official” end of summer, marked by unashamedly ironic holiday that is known as Labor Day.

A day when the majority of Americans do very little except sit around, chat with friends and neighbors, eat lots of food and drink various strengths of alcohol. If they have a job, working is the last thing on their minds, throwing a football around or catching some guilt-free rays is the primary concern.

How do I know this? Because it is exactly how I spent my day.

It was an easy decision to make. Spend my day catching up with all the news that I had missed in the last few days or sit down with a bunch of people that I don’t know that well, eat some grilled meat (and a small amount of salad) and explain why Mittens Romney is not the man for the job.

Irrespective of how “likeable” the GOP have tried to make him in the last week. Read the rest of this entry »





Ferris Bueller was right…more experiments in blogging

24 06 2012

As I was saying…

If you don’t dive into the blogosphere on a regular basis, you can miss stuff. Ferris Bueller knew this, he told us how fast life moves…not as fast as a Ferrari California can when put on raised blocks, ignored for a bit, kicked until the blocks fall over and …you know the rest.

I missed the chance to talk about Internet Protocol Version 6, the creation of millions more addresses that allow devices to access the Internet. We had 4.3 billion set aside in the 1980s, the guardians of the web thought that was enough and then Steve Jobs started coming up with ideas for stuff.

IPv6 gives us 340 undecillion unique addresses — that’s 340 followed by 32 zeroes. I would like to say that I have been counting up to this number for the last three weeks, hence my lack of Limeyviewing but that would be a lie.

Instead I have been working full time. Read the rest of this entry »





Happy Leap Day; Four More Years Until The Next One

29 02 2012

Every day on Facebook, I discover that it is the birthday of someone I know.

This piece of information helps me keep track of all the birthdays that I forget (in other words, all of them) and even lets me send messages congratulating people on successfully completing another year of social media activity. But today is different.

Today, nobody in my extended network of real and virtual friends seems to be celebrating the day that they shuffled onto this mortal coil.

There is a good reason for this. February 29 is a date that only has any relevance once every four years. It is the Gregorian calendar version of the World Cup and the Olympics. A brief moment in time when the eyes of the world will be on those lucky enough to be born on a day that needs legal definition as to when they can officially blow out the candles on their cake. Read the rest of this entry »