Snow Bored of Superbowl, Steven and Soccer

4 02 2011

Regular readers of my random ramblings (and I know that there are least 20 of you) will appreciate that my threshold for boredom is lower than a limbo dancer’s chosen profession.

Far too often my enthusiasm for events occurring in the world or outside my window is dulled by too much coverage or the vast array of talking heads pontificating on subjects that a) they know nothing about or b) are driven by the assumption that we are all idiots and can only understand 7 second soundbites. Sometimes the plethora of opinion just leaves me hoping that something slightly more interesting/controversial will pop up in my various Social Media feeds and rekindle the spark that actually made me give a shit in the first place.

This week I have been left cold (literally) by several events:

  • The amount of snow that has fallen in New England
  • The Superbowl in Dallas
  • The discussion over the adverts that will form part of the Superbowl
  • The amount of money that was spent by English soccer teams on Monday
  • Steven Tyler on American Idol

Lets start with the snow.

We all know that part and parcel of living in New England is that the winter will bring snow. Unlike certain parts of Europe which seem to be caught entirely by surprise when 6 inches of white powder descends from the skies, those of us that have chosen to live in an area that has distinct seasons are fully prepared for the inevitability of snowfall. But this year has been especially brutal.

On average, the Boston area receives 41.8 inches of snow between November to April. This year we have had 70.7 inches dumped on us already – a fact helpfully illustrated by the Shaq-O-Meter from the Boston Globe (Shaq being a quite well-known basketball player who has also made forays into the movie world). Whilst the roads have been kept mainly clear by the army of independent contractors with plows on their trucks, the snow has been piling up to such an extent that there are literally mountains of the stuff freezing in place. Car-parks have been filled with the excess snow, sidewalks are blocked and anyone daring to walk anywhere runs the risk of losing shoes.

And we are still only in February. I am bored of seeing my back garden covered in snow, tired of scraping my car clean and I am fed-up of only being able to wear one pair of shoes.

Which brings me to the Superbowl.

Are you watching Steven Tyler?

Sunday sees the end of the football season and the showpiece final is between Green Bay Packers and Pittsburgh Stealers. Two teams who (apparently) have played well enough to make it to Dallas to contest the 45th Final. I have no opinion on either team and will probably not watch the game – although I do like the fact that supporters of the Packers wear cheese on their bodies – but if there is nothing else on the 14,000 channels that I have access to, then I may sit down with a cold beer to try to absorb this piece of American sporting culture. Of course if the Patriots had not choked against the Jets in the play-offs, then I may have had some interest in the result but it seems as if I will not be alone in being apathetic to the actual game. Glancing through The Boston Herald today I was pleased to see that some New Englanders will actually use the day to do something more useful – such as shovel snow again.

And there aren’t even going to be any Cheerleaders!

Of course, for many the Superbowl is not about the game but the adverts. With a captive audience of around 100 million glued to every pass, tackle and interception, leading corporations see it as the perfect opportunity to hawk their latest product and the stop-start nature of the game allows for advertising to be an integral part of the Superbowl experience. It costs $3 million for a 30 second spot and companies like Volkswagen, Budweiser and GoDaddy are more than happy to splash the cash to enhance your subliminal experience. Personally, I am looking forward to the Best Buy campaign which stars Justin Bieber with Ozzy Osbourne – Prince Bland clashing with the Prince of  F*****g Darkness – with Sharon likely to make another attempt to keep up her media profile.

Big money being spent on desperate attempts to stay in the public consciousness? Those of us that follow the Beautiful Game will have watched in amazement as certain English clubs decided that the recession was a myth and that austerity is probably just an out-of-contract footballer. Monday saw Chelsea spend £50 million to sign Liverpool’s Fernando Torres, smashing the record of £35 million established by Liverpool about 30 minutes earlier who signed the injured Andy Carroll from Newcastle bringing the total spent by clubs in January to over £200 million. Football – the game of the working class….Not.

Finally, my interest in American Idol ground to its inevitable halt. The only reason to watch this program is the deluded and the talentless but these people seem to have been replaced by an endless parade of singers with sob stories and vaguely decent voices who are all so desperate to make it to Hollywood that they are prepared to flirt with Steven Tyler/Jennifer Lopez/Randy Jackson. Thousands of people apply to go on this show every year, every single one convinced that they are the next American Idol and the disappointment on their faces when they get rejected is part of the appeal of this annual event.

The Wannabes competing against  the This-Means-Everything-To-Me-Please-Say-Yes-Despite-Me-Being-Useless brigade are now being screened by an aging rocker who puts his glasses on for brief seconds when females enter the room before pursing his not inconsiderable lips in a leering fashion, a singer/movie star of dubious talent who has a backside that is probably more famous and Randy “The Dawg” Jackson ( a session musician who wasn’t even one of the Jacksons that I had heard of). And the rejected/successful applicants are greeted by Ryan Seacrest – a man who could walk unrecognized down the street in every other country in the world.

So, I have had enough. Bored of snow, Superbowl, soccer and Steven. Fed up of winter, tired of television and exhausted by the ludicrous amount of money some people will pay to get their message across. Spring can’t come soon enough, Summer seems so far away.

Still, did anyone catch the news from Egypt? It seems that there is something interesting happening there.

Just as long as it doesn’t get over-analysed, it may hold my attention for a bit longer.

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