All Praise the iPad, how could we ever doubt that we needed it?

13 04 2010

Dear Steve,

I hope you are well and enjoying this beautiful weather.

I apologise for not writing sooner but I have been preoccupied with the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, which led to a desire to escape the unbelievers and seek refuge amongst kindred souls. So I went to Las Vegas. It wasn’t the area of quiet solitude that I had hoped for but I was still able to keep my faith and raise my eyes to the heavens on a regular basis.

But I don’t need to tell you about the celebration of the works of the Son of God. You have put your own spin on adulation with the launch of yet another fabulously cool gadget. I take my hat off to you for this one; it’s another triumph of marketing. You have created demand for a product that people didn’t even know that they were missing in their life.

And at a time when the economy needs all the help it can get.  Mr Jobs, I salute you.

I was lucky enough to be among the faithful on April 3rd in Bahston to witness the birth of the iPad. Granted I wasn’t there at midnight or even 4.30 in the morning when Jessica and her dog arrived, but I did struggle out of bed to make my bleary-eyed, Starbucks fuelled way down to your retail establishment on Boylston Street. Which by the way is a beautiful use of retail space; I do love the glass and the spiral staircase which ascends to more levels of product.

I have to admit that I was only there because I wanted to show my support for your tablet, fingers crossed that this is the one which takes the market by storm. So many other attempts have fallen by the wayside that it’s about time that at least one catches the public attention. Of course, the iPad is so cool that even the doubters will have to take notice.

It’s not perfect, it has some elements that seem to be missing and obviously these will be addressed in the next generation of product but nobody gets it right first time. Anyway, we all know that USB ports and webcams are so last year. Why would anyone need anything other than your standard 30 pin plug? And if you are so desperate to Skype with your mates, then just spend the money on an additional piece of hardware and get over it!

Someone today had the bare-faced cheek to complain that the only browser that was available was Safari? Well, duh! What were they expecting? This is Apple, not some kind of fly-by-night operation that wants to give you options.

Are you listening Bill Gates? Of course you are, you created Windows 7 based on the suggestions of your consumers!

I also saw some buffoon try and put his iPad into his pocket. I laughed so hard when the seams on his jacket split that coffee came out of my nose. The best way to use this piece of media consumption perfection is to stride purposefully along the street with your headphones plugged in and holding it above your head so that everyone can see just how with-it you are.

And nobody needs more than ten hours battery life. Where on earth would you go that is more than ten hours away from your original location? Does anyone really want to travel for that amount of time! I think not.

But the best thing about the iPad is that it works so well with everything else that comes from Apple. I can put all my iTunes purchases onto it, look at all my photos and play all the games that I want. All within a ten hour battery period.

I am just so grateful, Steve, that you saw this gap in the market. We have had to put up with a succession of poor quality product that doesn’t take the consumer into consideration from companies that haven’t taken the time to do proper market research and find out what it is missing in our lives. But you have solved all of these problems with the release of this beautiful, shiny, thin, high-def, sleek piece of uber-gadget perfection.

Once again, you have proved all the naysayers wrong and you deserve every piece of worship that comes your way. All hail Steve Jobs and Jonathan Ive, sing hosanna for the god-like genius of Apple, take that Microsoft and the other wannabes! The iPad Rocks!

One day I even hope to be able to afford one.

Yours sincerely

L.I. Meyview

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3 responses

13 04 2010
Laura

hahahah! I hope he reads this too, and I hope he gets the message! I also love the image of some turd in hipster glasses striding down Boylston, headphones in ear, holding his iPad far above his head and looking around to see who’s watching him.

14 04 2010
davidjbolton

And as he proudly holds his iPad in his hand, some dude comes up and robs him!

19 04 2010
Nicolas Ward

I picked up my pre-order at the Boylston store later that day (having already passed two Starbucks at which someone was already demonstrating their iPad to anyone who would listen), after about a 10 minute wait. After being amused by the most Appley Apple Store employee I’ve ever seen (40-something man with a soul patch and hipster glasses), I picked up my iPad. It is replacing my 10-year-old laptop, as something very portable for taking notes in class but not as always-connected as my iPhone. In spite of drinking The Steve’s koolaid for almost 20 years, I managed to not even open it until the next day.

On the subject of resource usage, since my old laptop still works, I am retiring it to a glorified clock radio, which while avoiding the waste of an old laptop does now mean I have an old AM/FM I don’t need anymore. I suspect that when I wait in line to get the next (or more likely, one-after-next) iPad update, I’ll continue my habit of electronic hand-me-downs.

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