Sympathy for the Devil……Hakuna Matata

14 03 2010

I have sinned. I am to be damned for all eternity and on Judgement Day, I shall find out what my punishment will be.

Knowing my luck it will be stuck in a room with Glenn Beck and Paris Hilton with an eternal loop of Transformers : Revenge Of The Fallen playing on the  DVD. Or having to engage in conversation with the entire cast of Jersey Shore.

And what have I done to deserve this?

I went and saw the Lion King at the Boston Opera House on Friday. In the great scheme of things, possibly not something that you would expect to incur the wrath of an all-seeing, all-knowing, supposedly benevolent being.

But as we walked along the street BEFORE the show, a young woman handed me an envelope and advised me to read it at home AFTER the show. Problem was that in these days of mistrust and suspicion, I couldn’t wait to find out what I might have won, so I opened it in the theatre and discovered that the cast and crew of this award-winning musical were actually children of the devil.

Scar and the hyenas possibly, but Timon, Pumba and Simba? Surely some mistake!

Nope, they are all in league with the Great Deceiver.

The envelope contained some information from a religious organisation called They were very keen to know if I was a true or false Christian. I am neither.

According to the leader of this Christian Ministry Outreach, the great prophet Andre, those of us who wanted a nice night out watching a Disney adaptation on stage are “shameful people” and through the “misuse of God’s Word the curses that are recorded in the Bible will be upon you.”

Apparently Elton John and Tim Rice are making a mockery out of the scriptures and that by paying to see Simba discover his true worth, whilst in the company of a paranoid meerkat and a flatulent warthog, we are supporting the works of the devil.

Certainly made me think more about the Circle of Life.

Fortunately, Andre is here to show us the way. In a personal conversation with God, possibly on Skype, the mysteries of the scriptures have been revealed.

Highlights include

  • That the devil is the god of this world
  • that the people of this have the spirit of Satan in them
  • they do not know who God is
  • they do not know what God wants
  • they are all lost in sin
  • we are all born with a bad spirit which has to be removed

Then we have some quoting from the Bible, especially from Amos and Malachi, which basically says that

  1. We are all condemned
  2. The false Christians are involved in all kinds of things in this world such as politics, singing and dancing
  3. the baptizing of babies and the inviting of the Lord into your heart are deceptions created by Satan
  4. We don’t understand the true nature of God.

Andre is completely correct. I don’t understand.

I don’t understand how one religion or belief system is more relevent than another. I don’t understand why people who have faith can be subject to suffering and still believe that this is God’s intention. I don’t understand how the Catholic Church can be the arbitrator of rules and regulations for its followers whilst still conducting business behind closed doors that is immoral and illegal. Of course, they are not the only ones but I don’t have the time to discuss every religion and their differing interpretations of the Lord’s Word.

Because there are an awful lot of different branches of what to me seems like the same club. Similar to biker gangs, they have their own codes of morality and the rules of the road.

I don’t understand why a belief in the Bible and all the stories that are told within makes you a better person, as if blind faith in a higher power will solve all your problems. Look around the world, how many problems are actually caused by religion?

I actually have no problem with people who wish to believe in whatever God they think does the best job. Belief systems can have their place and sometimes when situations are desperate, a prayer to a greater entity can bring comfort when times are dark.

But I object to being to told that I have done something wrong by going to see The Lion King.

After all, the Bible does say “Speak to one another in psalms, hymns, and songs; sing and make music from your heart to the Lord; giving thanks always for all things unto God.”  (Ephesians 5.19-20).

Elton John may not be God, but he does make music from the heart.

Hakuna Matata.




2 responses

16 03 2010

Love the pic… why are you singling out the Catholics man? They aren’t the only ones conducting questionable business behind closed doors – there are many happy Christian traditions here in America for you to have fun with… mormons, evangelists, etc.

6 07 2010
Glenys Flaitz

OMG – they struck again. This time, it was Jesus Christ Superstar that was the center of a 4 page, single spaced sermon that managed to offend white people, jews, Billy Graham and – yes – even the sacred holiday of Halloween. I consider myself to be a Christian, but since I’ve made the dastardly error of “inviting Jesus into my heart” I’m apparently damned for eternity along with my fellow picnickers who’s religious background is considerably more ambiguous. We all enjoyed a dramatic reading of the text, but really want to know more… if anyone else gets an unmarked envelope with a badly spelled sermon inside, let me know!! So far the internet is totally failing me…

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