Limp Response to National Condom Week

24 02 2010

February 14th to 21st, 2010 was National Condom Week in the USA *

Across the country the power of advertising  trumpeted the dangers of unprotected sex.

In cities nationwide gangs of attractive youths, fresh from their retail jobs at Abercrombie and Fitch, accosted individuals in the street and handed them condoms from a basket.

Flat-bed trucks cruised along with huge billboards telling us all to make sure we covered up or face the consequences.

And healthcare professionals appeared on TV urging us to stay safe. 

Or maybe I just dreamed that?

Because I am fairly sure that I would have noticed anything in the media, and especially as I have been glued to my TV watching the Winter Olympics.

But apparently National Condom Week was a real event.

The guys at RH Reality Check were aware, they wished us a Happy National Condom Week, http://bit.ly/cTSCGf.

EmpowHER claimed we were in the thick of it,  http://bit.ly/cCpY2R.

Physicians For Reproductive Choice & Health urged us to celebrate, http://bit.ly/aRzG5N.    

But still, this week seemed to escape the attention of many.

Ironic as it began on Valentines Day. Hallmark certainly did not produce a card for this event (although it is Administrative Professionals Day on April 21st.)

Why did this week pass me by? Especially as the Federal Government has spent nearly $500,000 on finding out why guys don’t like to wear the small, rubber balloon.

Simple. Condoms are not sexy. Never have been and never will be.

They are a mood damper, nobody ever knows when is the correct time to put them on or the correct etiquette. Prior to sex, after foreplay, before foreplay, in the middle of foreplay, when it is hot and heavy, before you turn off the light, by the door, in the bathroom, limp or rigid…………….need I go on?

They even come with instructions. Which doesn’t dampen the mood at all.

  • Carefully open package so condom does not tear
  • Do not unroll condom before putting it on
  • Put condom on end of hard penis
  • Unroll condom so that it covers all of penis
  • Always put on condom before entering partner
  • After ejaculation, hold rim of condom and pull penis out before penis gets  soft
  • Slide condom off without spilling liquid inside
  • Throw away or bury condom
  • Do not use grease, oils, lotions, or petroleum jelly to make condoms slippery, only use a jelly or cream that does not have oil in it
  • Use a condom each time you have sex
  • Use a condom only once
  • Store condoms in a cool, dry place
  • Do not use condoms for lengthy and vigorous intercourse
  • Do not use condoms for non-vaginal intercourse

And they wonder why we are not big fans of this form of contraception.

* image from  www.plannedparenthood.org/ppneo/index.htm, keep up the good work

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