If We Don’t Have Rules, then Anarchy Will Reign.

14 01 2010

I thought I was going to get away with it until the balding man in an ill-fitting jacket decided to single me out.

The message was very clear. I was not getting into the venue with the offending object. There was no point in arguing, the rules were very specific and I would have to find somewhere to either dispose of it or leave it for safekeeping.

To emphasise how clear this message was, he crossed his arms and gave me a look that implied that I should move quickly away for fear of getting a slap.

Just another night at the TD Banknorth Garden.

Eddie Izzard would have loved the absurdity of this situation. For it was he who had enticed me here on a cold Tuesday evening. To witness the joy of The Big Intimacy Tour.

So intimate that there was no room for anything other than people. 

To be fair, the ticket did spell out what could and could not be brought into the 19,600 seat arena that is “New England’s Premier Sports and Entertainment Arena”.

No Bags/Cameras/Audio. Very specific.

Cameras and Audio, I understand. Piracy, infringement of copyright, the possability of poor quality video appearing on YouTube and potential damage to future DVD sales.

Although as nearly everyone now owns a phone which has a camera contained within, this is pointless unless you specify make and model.

Iphone, Droid, Nokia thingy, bring them in, no problem.

Canon Powershot G11, Sony Cybershot with 10.1 megapixel Carl Zeiss lens. On your bike.

But No Bags? Not one. Where is the logic in that?

Of course, there is always the possability of a terrorist using a bag to smuggle a bomb in (the method of the 7/7 attacks in London in 2005) but would Eddie Izzard @ The Garden, Boston really be considered a practical target by the forces of darkness? One hopes not. 

Especially as there as no definition of what constitutes a bag. Does this include plastic or environmentally friendly? Is a bag limited to size? What about colostomy- can we discriminate against those and refuse entry?

I had a rucksack. Otherwise known as a backpack.

Not technically a bag. Which can be ; 

  • a flexible container with a single opening
  •  a container used for carrying money and small personal items or accessories (especially by women)
  • a portable rectangular container for carrying clothes
  • an ugly or ill-tempered woman

All of these I saw being let into the venue with not a question asked.

One bloke even took his bulging  laptop bag in with him, past the same security bloke that stopped me! Another woman had a bag over her shoulder that was so large, I was expecting to see the tousled head of a child sticking out of it.

But not my rucksack.

No, I had to leave the venue and go into the nearest bar (Sullivan’s Tap), pay the barman $10 to look after it and then go back into the Garden to queue again behind people who were weighed down with bags of all shapes and sizes.

Got my camera in though.

I put it in my jacket pocket. Which they didn’t search.

A small victory, and one that made me smile nearly as much as Eddie did.




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